...in Chapter One under "F%#k You Don't Steal My Money" in Section 8.215 it says, "F%#k you don't steal my money."
Rest of letter and full transcription below. (via reddit)
Taking money from comedian Eugene Mirman is not a good idea. The stand-up and voice of Gene on Bob's Burgers is well known for his open letters to such infamous money-stealers as Time Warner Cable. This week, Mirman has penned a viral open letter to a new kind of target: greedy tourist trap village police. We all know that visiting seaside tourist towns is a trade in which you receive good food, scenic views, and invigorating salt air in exchange for forking over all your money for said good food, sub-par fudge, and amateur sunset paintings. One such tourist trap is the absurdly adorable town of Portsmouth, NH. Just look at this f%#king place:
We are all fine with that. What we're not fine with, and what prompted Mirman to take out this full-page ad in the 2015 edition of the Seacoast Summer Guide (your complete guide to coastal New Hampshire's summer offerings), is getting fined for no reason when towns that can't hack it on tourism and their own citizen's productivity alone decide to fatten their coffers with byzantine laws and fines no one could know about. Like making it illegal to park with the rear of your car facing the curb:
Thank you for keeping the lost art of angry letter-writing alive, Eugene. (via reddit)
Here's the full text of the letter: