Any and all souls will be confiscated and held at the Lost & Found & Damned.
Shannon Thomas from Cleveland, OH, flew to Puerto Rico two years ago to ""spread his mother's remains in the Caribbean Sea, as she had requested prior to passing away." Instead, her ashes ended up spread all over his suitcase and his clothes, because the Transportation Security Administration doesn't give a flying eff about your mom's mortal remains or her final requests. They will leave you a little note, though.
In his suit, Thomas and his lawyers state that he used a really sturdy and serious urn, screwed tightly, and wrapped in his clothes for good measure. Somewhere between Cleveland, his connection in DC, and San Juan, however, the TSA got their hands on it. That's when they "negligently, carelessly, and recklessly replaced the lid of the urn, placed a bag inspection notice in [Thomas'] suitcase and sent the bag on its way. This action caused the urn to open and spilled the remains of [Thomas'] mother on the inside of [Thomas'] suitcase and on [Thomas'] personal effects."