- This is the perfect night to troll the city for undatable alcoholics - The best part of being my own date for Valentine's Day is knowing I'm guaranteed to score. - I wish they could manufacture a holiday that didn't point out my inability to commit. - The only way I could be lonelier today is if the Internet stopped working - I'd love to not hear all about your Valentine's Day - My Valentine runs on batteries. - Join me for a girls' night this Valentine's Day to celebrate our independence before we drunk text our exes and quietly sob ourselves to sleep - Just wanted to thank you in advance for the flowers I'm going to send to myself and pretend are from you. - I look forward to an intimate Valentine's Day with my ex's Facebook page. - I'm using Pinterest to show people the perfectly romantic Valentine's Day I won't be having - I hate Valentine's Day unless you'd like to be my date - Let's celebrate not having to celebrate Valentine's Day - Happy Valentine's Day to someone who raised me, loved me unconditionally, and made me almost capable of having a functional relationship - Let's spend Valentine's Day alone together - Valentine's Day and Black History Month are sad reminders of how lonely and white I am - I want you or someone else on this dating site to be my Valentine. - Happy Valentine's Day from a secret admirer who really exists and isn't just you sending this card to yourself