"Honey, I spent a long time thinking about what you really need..."

Planning the perfect Valentine's Day is a lot of pressure. There's an elaborate meal to plan, gifts to buy, and a whole slew of other allegedly important traditions to uphold. It's basically Christmas with a higher chance of sex and the exact same amount of inevitable disappointment. But these businesses are looking to make things easier on you by destroying you significant other's expections right out of the gate with their unbelieveably awful Valentine's Day-themed promotions. And if you take advantage of these deals, we can guarantee that next year's Valentine's Day will be even easier to plan — because you'll be completely, utterly alone.
 


"I'm more of a breast man" - idiots. Did you just think that? Sorry.
 


IMPORTANT CAVEAT: Single tables only.
 

Sources: Deadspin | Specs Appeal | The Ramblings | Indiana Live Casino | Fish Ink