(file photo of people who might be Japanese deciding whether to bother with sex or not)

5. Japanese youth who aren't having sex anymore, signaling the beginning of end times. The Japanese media are in a frenzy over what they call "celibacy syndrome," a phenomenon in which many Japanese youth are choosing to remain single. Japanese people aren't having babies, and their population is expected to shrink by a third by 2060 (of course, earth won't exist by then—see #2—but still). Whether the causes are economic or cultural, or the whole thing is being blown way out of proportion, I can't help but feel that this—more than sinkholes or the Tea Party—is the first sign of the apocalypse. People wanting to spend 98% of their time staring at screens, sure. But people not wanting to spend the other 2% of their time having reckless, frequently regrettable unprotected sex? Our species is doomed. —SRD

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(via Wikipedia)

4. The NYPD. If you look in the dictionary next to "racial profiling," you won't see any pictures of the NYPD, because you're probably looking at dictionary.com, and they don't have pictures. But if they did or you were looking at some picture dictionary for children, you'd see the official seal of the NYPD, for sure. Those guys are now apparently targeting young, African-American men and women who make expensive purchases at Barneys, and they're being investigated over the arrests of 19-year-old Trayon Christian back in April and 21-year-old Kayla Phillips in February, who bought a $350 belt and a $2,500 handbag, respectively. Police arrested both shoppers simply because they felt they looked suspicious (and after Christian's purchase, Barneys contacted police). Of course, the real question is, what makes a handbag cost $2,500, and do I want one? —SRD

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