5. Journalists reporting on the Rolling Stone cover. Oh. My. God. Have you seen this Rolling Stone cover? OK, but have you really seen it? Yes, of course you have, because this offensive/provocative photo of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev that many journalists decided should never have been printed was plastered wall-to-wall on television and across the Internet this week. In other words, this semi-trolling stunt that Rolling Stone used to generate attention was used relentlessly by cable news and blogs to draw attention to themselves. Stop kidding us, guys, we all know that you practically peed yourselves with excitement when this story broke. —JMC


4. Whoever bought Hostess and gave us lower calorie, lighter Twinkies. We were relieved to learn that our childhoods weren't being destroyed by the bankruptcy of Hostess, and thrilled when the cream-filled sponge cakes returned to shelves. But it is some bullshit that they're now 15 calories lighter. Excuse us? If anything, we'd be happy to see Twinkies that are double the weight and calories of old Twinkies. When we gorge ourselves in a fit of self-hatred, we want to feel that sick, rock-like feeling in our bellies for the rest of the day. —SRD

Sources: Shira Rachel Danan and Johnny McNulty