5. Kenneth Cole. A reminder to everyone who has a Twitter or Facebook feed that exists solely for the sake of marketing: your job is to sell your shit, not to weigh in on anything that actually matters to people. Also, if you think it's okay to weigh in because you're just joking around, you should assume, due to the marketing thing, that you are astoundingly, mind-bogglingly unfunny. Finally, no one buys it when you hide behind the "starting a dialogue" shield. The dialogue you started isn't about whether attacking Syria is a good idea. It's about whether or not you're an asshole.
4. This Mom, for calling all her teenage sons' female Facebook friends sluts. Kimberly J. Hall is an out-of-control, sex-obsessed mother of some teenage boys who announced this week that she regularly sits down with her sons, clicks through their Facebook friends, and blocks all the girls whose Facebook photos she finds sexy. The post of course doesn't quite say it that way. It attempts to folksily chastise teenage girls for trying to be alluring in their Facebook pics (BREAKING! Teenage girls want to be considered attractive!). With this blocking bullshit, however, there's really no way to imagine it working without picturing Mrs. Hall going through photo by photo and thinking, "She's hot. Blocked. My son would totally spank to that. Blocked. That one even turned me on. Blocked." Naturally, the post went viral because there's no shortage of sexually terrified people who like to call girls sluts for having bodies. The delightfully ironic twist to the tale, though, is the fact that Mrs. Hall's own Facebook page is drowning in half-naked pics of her own teenage sons frolicking in bathing suits at the beach. Hopefully, mothers of teen girls have dutifully followed Mrs. Hall's advice and blocked her and her entire family from their daughters' Facebook pages.