5. Jews. Observant Jews and Jews whose parents are making them are about to embark on a week of eating a food that has become synonymous with cardboard. Tonight marks the beginning of Passover, a holiday that celebrates the exodus of the Jewish slaves from Egypt so that they could be free to choose to eat a cracker that looks and tastes like it has been intentionally burned. During the week of Passover, Jews don't eat bread or any other delicious, leavened foods. But 51 weeks of the year, free people choose bagels.
4. Amanda Knox. It was the trial of the century. Or at least the decade. Or at least the most convoluted trial of those few years while it lasted. After being convicted, appealing the verdict, and then being acquitted, Amanda Knox, the American who was suspected of murdering her roommate while studying abroad in Italy, is now facing a retrial. In Italy, unlike the United States, a person can be retried for the same crime after they are acquitted, which means many of our courtroom drama movie plots wouldn't work at all if they were set there. It also means Knox probably wouldn't be turned over to the Italian authorities if there is a new trial. But come on, can't Italy let bygones be extremely profitable memoirs?