5. Indigenous Peoples/Italians/Anyone who has to work today.

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Who has it worse today? Italians, whose only holiday is being eroded by pesky people learning pesky history, or indigenous peoples? Well, with some cities starting to celebrate Indigenous People's Day, you can argue that today is slightly less terrible for Native Americans than every other day since Columbus arrived. So, the answer is clear: the real victims here are me and everyone else who is at work right now because previous generations didn't think this holiday through, and it never really stuck.

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4. America's health care workers, because they're all about to get Ebola.

Turns out, trying to help people survive Ebola is a great way to get Ebola. Although officials still insist the disease is relatively hard to catch, there was still an unspecified "breach of protocol" that resulted in infection for a Dallas nurse who was treating the late Thomas Eric Duncan while wearing all the protective gear you can have short of a Hazmat suit. Despite the fact that this is the second Ebola infection within the US, Center for Disease Control officials emphasized how quickly the infection was discovered as proof that the overall system for fighting Ebola is working. Especially if you're not a nurse.

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