5. Beyonce. Queen Bey has been accused of committing the cardinal sin of celebrity Instagramming: photoshopping her body. Specifically, the singer-goddess is suspected of photoshopping the image above to increase her "thigh gap." Thigh gaps are the must-have body-part separation of the season, and there are some red flags in the photo. Beyonce's leg looks sort of wavy and the line in the grass doesn't continue between her legs. But I, for one, think she's innocent. If she wanted to improve a particular part of her body, Beyonce would simply command it to change, and it would obey. At the very least, she'd get one of her minions to do a much better job of photoshopping.
4. Anyone who left taking part in the great civic privilege that is Tax Day to the very last minute. You're definitely not one of these people. You did your taxes way back in late January, when you first got your W-2 in the mail. Since you'd been tracking business expenses in an Excel spreadsheet and keeping tax-related paperwork in a neat filing system, doing your taxes only took about an hour. It was almost fun! And you used the extra time you've had these last few months to help build a community garden. There's always another way to give back, you upstanding citizen, you!
(photo via Andalnes Avis)
3. An unlucky fisherman who caught a nice, big cod, only to cut it open and find a dildo inside. There's a first time for everything, and today's the first day I gave an image the filename "FishDildo." So obviously, I'm having a great Monday, but this poor Norwegian guy is not. Bjorn Frilund, 64, of Norway, was gutting a cod when he discovered a large, orange battery-powered dildo inside of the fish. And I mean, you can't very well eat a fish once you've discovered its kinky tastes in food. It gives the fish too much personality.