5. Anyone who didn't do their taxes yet. It's that time of year again when we give some serious thought to heading out to Montana and finally launching that separatist movement we've been meaning to get off the ground. If you haven't done your taxes yet, just power up Turbotax and plug your favorite numbers into the fields until the return looks "done-ish." A good way to be safe is to play, "If I was the government," where you look at the return you're giving yourself and you ask, "If I was the government, would I arrest me?" You'd be surprised how lenient you assume the government to be in such hypothetical imaginings. Enjoy going to the post office for the first time since last year!

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4. Anne Frank's ghost. The Bieb reached unparalleled levels of egocentricity while on a visit to a place that usually inspires selflessness and humility—the Anne Frank Museum. Bieber left a note in the museum's guestbook saying he had a meaningful visit and that, "Hopefully [Anne] would have been a belieber." Luckily, Bieber did not follow that up with a series of shirtless selfies with the hastag #AnneFrankIsMyHomegirl. Way to make the Holocaust all about you, Bieber.

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