5. NFL and MLB player Johnny Manziel, for getting almost-caught snorting "the drugs."
You've got to have a lot of energy to get drafted by both the Cleveland Browns as a quarterback and the San Diego Padres as a shortstop in the same year, but "Football Johnny" Manziel did just that in 2014. Where does all that energy come from? Well, according to a photo that made the rounds this weekend showing Manziel suspiciously rolling up a $20 bill in a Vegas bathroom, it may not all come from eating healthy and staying positive.
4. Any anti-gay activists who are still capable of listening to science.
If you believe homosexuality is causing the decline of our civilization, you're probably not easily swayed by news stories starting out with the phrase "Scientists have announced..." If you still believe in empirical evidence, however, you'd probably be pretty bummed to hear that the children of same-sex parents were found to be as well-adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents, if not more so. It's almost like love is the important thing in parenting, and also that gay couples don't accidentally have kids they're not prepared for—and by "almost like," I mean "is."