5. Paula Deen. Paula Deen must feel lower than a Victoza-user's blood sugar after the Food Network decided last Friday not to renew her contract. But we think the Southern lady should view this as an opportunity. She can finally launch the Antebellum Food Network, and get everyone from the regular Food Network to come over and host racist versions of their current programs. Who wouldn't watch the Barefoot Slave with Ina Garten? Or Giada on the Plantation with Giada DeLaurentiis? Or Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives with Guy Fieri?

 

4. The journalists stuck on Edward Snowden's 12-hour flight from Moscow to Cuba, without Edward Snowden. Long international flights are never fun. But we imagine they're even worse when you only boarded the plane in the first place because you were hoping for a chance to interview a whistleblower who never got on the flight. Edward Snowden was allegedly going to be on a flight from Moscow to Cuba on his way to seek asylum in Ecuador after he allegedly flew from Hong Kong to Moscow. Lots of alleged journalists allegedly bought tickets, too, (okay, fine, they really did) hoping to get an interview. Now they're still on the plane to Havana, and Snowden may or may not still be in Moscow. Too bad it wasn't a Dreamliner or it probably never would have even taken off.