5. The forgotten female British tennis player who won Wimbledon in 1977. Everyone is reporting that the racquet-wielding Scot known as Andy Murray (or the Englishman known as Andy Murray if you read the New York Times) has become the first UK tennis player to win the premier UK tennis tournament, Wimbledon, in 77 years. Except, of course, for Sarah Virginia Wade, who won the women's singles championship 1977 but doesn't count because of her boobs. She also did it on Wimbledon's 100th year. She also won two other Majors singles tournaments and four doubles championships. Andy Murray, on the other hand, looks like the guy Mark Zuckerberg forces out of Facebook in The Social Network.

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4. Johnny Depp. The Lone Ranger didn't open all that well, even though the 4th of July falling on a Thursday made the holiday weekend last for about two months. Not only did the movie barely manage to earn back its publicity budget, but it effectively killed the chance of Johnny Depp and Armie "Once A Winklevoss, Always A Winklevoss" Hammer being the Riggs and Murtaugh of the new millennium. Top it all off with everyone calling out Depp for being a white guy playing a Native American character, effectively ordering him to only pancake himself in his cherished white makeup for imaginary characters under the direction of Tim Burton, and he's probably regretting not just going ahead and doing Pirates 5.

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