5. Justin Bieber's grandmother, who was serenaded by her naked douche of a grandson. Ugh, this kid. Really. Let's just say that the Biebers have horrible boundary issues. Why is there a photographer there? Showing up naked at your grandma's door to make her scream is something that should be kept within the family, not paraded in tabloids for attention. TMZ is claiming that the grandma claims that she thought this was "a hoot." Everyone knows senior citizens saying "it was a hoot" is the same as a teen saying "yeah it was fine, whatever." It means nothing. —JMC


4. People who just wanted to enjoy the magic of Disney World. It's a small, small world and it's getting smaller as large chunks of earth are getting sucked underground. Last night, about 35 people were forced to evacuate a resort about 10 minutes from Disney World in central Florida after a 60-foot sinkhole opened up underneath them. Luckily, the resort sunk with cartoonishly slow speed so everyone had a chance to get out. It seems like this sort of thing is happening in Florida all the time lately, but we are certainly not hoping the entire state gets sucked under soon. That's probably not even possible. Right? —SRD