5. Ashton Kutcher. Shockingly, the world was more interested in seeing an ensemble drama with Oprah in it this weekend than in seeing Ashton Kutcher pretend to be a nerd. After getting disappointing reviews that millions of people found and read with ease on their shiny Apple products, the biopic Jobs opened in seventh place at the box office. The worst part is, Demi Moore probably emailed him and was like "I'm sorry to hear that" and she meant it to be nice but it just made him feel worse.

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4. The partner of a journalist who has been covering the spying activities of the NSA. Glenn Greenwald, a journalist for The Guardian, has been covering the activities of the NSA using leaked information from Edward Snowden. When his partner, David Miranda, flew through London on his way to Rio de Janeiro yesterday, he was detained and questioned by authorities for 9 hours. In addition, all of his electronic equipment—laptop, phone, etc.—was confiscated. The most horrible part of this story isn't that Miranda was treated like a criminal just because of his partner's reporting, it's that Miranda missed his damn flight. These brutal tactics by the British government will not be tolerated!

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