When Redditor spacin_out80's boss went out of down, the coworker put in charge for the day went on a wee bit of a power trip. For everyone who's missing having new episodes of The Office, sometimes reality just writes it for you.
Dishing out "disciplinary write-ups," the interim Big Cheese had fun with his new authority. Alerting his underlings that they had "disgraced the company" by either "being a smart-ass" or committing general fuck-uppery, the coworker who was put in charge for just the one day wrote a powerful dictum, commanding his new underlings to "try to stop sucking."
Here it is written out, so you can copy and paste a version for your office:
Through your actions, you have disgraced the company (B2E), your coworkers, your family, the clients, and least importantly, yourself. This needs to stop, but there is little hope of you changing your behavior. Like a record stuck on repeat, your mistakes continue and continue and continue, echoing emptily through the hallway of your career. May God have mercy on your soul. Again.
You have been written up for (check one or both):
- Being a Smart-ass
- General Fuck-up
I _________ will try to stop sucking. If I put half as much effort into that as I do into being an office jackass, I may be successful. If I exert the minimal amount of effort required to pull my head out of my ass and get in the fucking game, then I may not be a profound disappoint to those around me who have the displeasure of calling me a "coworker." I am not a child but rather an adult and will thus try to defy expectations by acting in a manner which exhibits professionalism, not moronic incompetency.