5. The Spawn of Van Der Sloot - If any blonde babies suddenly begin "disappearing" from daycare centers in Aruba nine months from now, you'll know why. Actually, we're not sure who to feel worse for in this scenario: the woman deluded enough to become this monster's conjugal visit groupie, the inevitably homicidal fetus now growing inside of her, or all the people out there who are officially having less sex than a convicted murderer.
4. This Teacher - Wisconsin math teacher Richard Vesbach is in trouble over assigning this worksheet, which uses the word "squaw" to complete a lame, vaguely racist pun. When are teachers going to learn that math and race don't mix, unless the race is Asian? We just hope that when Vesbach was told this worksheet is offensive to Native Americans, he didn't respond with "How?"