5. Everyone at JPMorgan Chase - Heads are rolling at the biggest bank in America, which suddenly has a lot of Fabergé egg on its face after a disastrous derivatives trade left the company with a testicle-shriveling $2 billion in losses. We just hope this doesn't do anything to hurt everyone's deep, steadfast trust in the banking industry.

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4. Scott Thompson - It's been an unbelieveably bad few days for Thompson, who was forced to step down as Yahoo CEO once the company learned he lied on his resume. (We're guessing his deceit was revealed after Yahoo searched "Scott Thompson" using a site other than Yahoo.) If that wasn't bad enough, now it's being reported that he may have to reimburse the company for as much as $7 million in upfront bonuses. We're guessing none of this will stop him from putting "successful Yahoo CEO" on his next resume.

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