Chances are you’re going to get fired someday. It may be because of something you did, or just downsizing. It doesn’t matter! So you might as well read these ridiculous terminations stories from redditors while you’re still on the clock.

There are four company laptops and the office Keurig in the bottom of that box.
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1. Over at the dollar store, there's so much money it's just magically appearing, and Terboh had to clean up that horrible, horrible situation.

Worked as a cashier at a store were things are generally a dollar. You only get 3 chances per year to be off on your register by $2.00, positive or negative. Was on my 3rd strike in December, at this point promoted to assistant manager, found an extra $20 in my drawer when I counted it down at the end of the night. Recounted a few times, still there. Ended up recording it, rather than taking the $20 off camera. Got fired for it.

TL;DR: I got fired for not stealing $20.

2. TheCrazyCatLady_ was fired for not being a camel.

I used to work for a large discounted designer type shop. It was the middle of summer, and I worked in the warehouse tagging clothes. After a week, I get in and there are no cups at the water machine, and we're not allowed to bring in bottles. I report that there aren't any cups. A couple hours later, still no cups. At lunch, it's so busy you can't sit down whilst you eat. After being on my feet for about 6 hours, I fainted. Got sent home in a taxi, and as I'm getting in it, the manager tells me not to come back.

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3. The big mistake that teddybear11127 made after getting fired was not putting that cone on her owner's head, like a unicorn.

I was a McDonald's manager and was already on thin ice for being lazy. So one of my friends comes in and orders a soft serve, so I make it the biggest fucking ice cream you've ever seen probably like 10 swirls and as I hand it over the owner of the store walks in...

4. So what's rumsfeldish supposed to do? Not slap hams? You gotta slap the hams.

Worked at a grocery store. Always slapped the hams when I walked passed. Management saw video told me to stop. I couldn't help it.

Nobody can resist hams.
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5. User brineydeepbrineydeep lost his job to pay for another job (a boob job).

In college I worked for a small video production company for about three years. One day, with no warning, my boss calls me into his office, sits me down and proceeds to tell me that I was too skilled for the work I was doing and that he preferred quantity over quality. I was fired on the spot. Two weeks later my old co-worker told me that he over heard my former bosses wife state that that the money the company was saving by firing me was going to pay for her new boob job.

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6. I,f like Dan_the_moto_man, you aren't quite sure if you got fired or not, you probably got fired. And also screwed over.

Not quite fired, but I lost my job when the small company (3 employees) I worked for went out of business. I had seen this coming for a while, so it wasn't much of a surprise.

I was surprised two weeks later when I saw the two guys I had worked with driving around in the company truck (with a new logo, but doing the same thing). Yeah, they told me they closed for business, and then opened back up a couple weeks later doing the same thing, just without me anymore.

7. Once goatonaboat started in with the night pizza, then everybody was going to want the night pizza, and you can't have that.

I worked at a backpacker lodge outside of my home country, for the two weeks I had the job it was great. Then I got fired for allowing some guests that had just come in at 4am to eat pizza in the sitting area. I was meant to unlock and set up the dining hall, which would've taken fucking forever at that time, and these guests were jetlagged and hungry. They didn't make any mess, but my boss came storming in and fired me on the spot.

8. Sounds like that conniving harpy Ann Landers was behind your firing, delightfuldylan.

One day I was feeling extra lazy at work so I sat down at the table in the break room and started reading 'Dear, Abby' in our newspaper. My boss walked by, saw me, and told me to go do something, I thought it'd be witty so I said "but I'm reading Dear Abby!!!"

He fired me on the spot.

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9. Dawn_of_the_Dave was terminated just for being too impressionable.

I worked in the same building as an animal testing company. On my first day there was a protest outside and we were told not to speak to or engage with the protestors in any way. I don't know what happened but as I was coming back from lunch I got all swept up in the moment and accidentally joined the protest. They even gave me a placard and a cool hat. Apparently the conversation with the boss inside went like this "Has anyone seen Dave? (looks out of window) never mind...”

10. User inkykinky took their work home with them, much to their chagrin. (Chagrin means "diarrhea.")

I got fired from a café after I stayed home with severe food poisoning. I got the food poisoning by eating food at the café.

Don't be so dramatic.
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11. Those books are for you and you only, green072410. Books are not meant to be shared. They're a single-use product, like a water bottle, or a diaper.

Years ago, I worked at Hastings (for those that don't know-Hastings is a book/movie/music store, they sell new & used items). I got fired for "misuse of the employee discount"-I admitted to Loss Prevention that I bought a book that both my mom & I wanted to read.

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12. It makes sense why this person's account was deleted, because there's an army of greasy-faced kids and their parents on his tail.

I'm late to the party here but I was fired from Chuck E Cheese's for dressing up as Chuck and entering the main dining hall...without the head on. Needless to say, a lot of childhoods were ruined.

13. The customer service job maddkid53 held down was a great job, except for all of the customers.

I was fired from Kohl's for writing inappropriate comments on my void slips. When a customer does something stupid like wanting to add items after the sale has been completed, you have to void the sale, go back, and do it all over again. Super annoying. So on the void slip I would put the reason for the void at "fucking customer decided not to buy a shirt after they'd already bought it" or "stupid old lady wanted to add a candy bar after she'd already paid for everything."

I was pulled into the office one day, made to read all my slips out loud, and was terminated immediately.

14. For this story from Faith_in_Cheese to make sense, remember that 1) chips are what Australians call fries, and 2) they apparently cost thousands of dollars there.

Working at Red Rooster (Australian fast food) I was previously told that you could eat all the chips you want, as long as the customers couldn't see you. Fast forward a few months.

I get called in to the office, and it was basically explained to me very seriously that I had been caught on camera, STEALING FOUR SEPARATE CHIPS OVER A PERIOD OF A MONTH. Was basically given the option of quitting then and there or being fired.

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Admit it. You'd lose your job for fries too.
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15. _SPAM_, if burger chains are nothing else, they're a bastion of proper fashion.

I worked at Whataburger, a fast food restaurant chain, and was fired, on my first day in two hours, for not wearing black socks. I thought it was a joke, until the manager actually told me to go home.

​16. Miggy_Wiggy is still the same old G, but they were not responsible for that old G.

I once worked for canadian tire, at this particular canadian tire there was an elevator between the lower and upper level of the warehouse, this elevator is filled with profanity and graffiti up the wahzoo, one day my manager starts acting strangely around me, and then a few hours later they call me into the office and pull out a piece of paper from when they first hired me, they said "this G here when you wrote your name looks similar to the G used here in this new graffiti we found, now i know you're still young but you have to understand that this is unacceptable behaviour blah blah blah...."

17. This story from Top_Wop will confirm every soul-killing suspicion you ever had about what it's like to work in a car dealership.

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Worked for a car dealership in the finance department. The place that finances your car, tries to sell you life insurance on the loan, useless warranties, etc. The owner calls me into his office and tells me "Top_Wop, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I'm gonna let you go. I love your work. Your paper work is the best I've ever seen. You dot all the i's, cross all the t's and do a great job. But you don't have that killer instinct. You know what I mean. Basically, you don't or won't screw people. And we all know you have to do that in this business". So I got fired for not being a prick. Go figure.

18. Why didn't you think positive, scisorkick? What's wrong with you? Sad about getting laid off?

Our store was going out of business and I was "Too negative about the store closing"

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Turn that frown upside down! BTW you're fired.
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