Dammit, we were trying for an inheritance. We'll love it just the...almost the same.

According to this redditor, she just landed her dream job as a nurse in a maternity ward and received this cake from her boyfriend in the way of congratulations. Sure, it will be painful and involve a lot of yelling, in particular angry women yelling that they'd like a nurse who doesn't look like she just came out of the womb herself (it's ok, they're just sensitive because they're not looking their freshest today). But, it's part of the miracle of life, and that's a wonderful thing to be a part of. It's also a terrific form of birth control.

Not only birth control, but diet. For example, now I'm thinking about orifices tearing open and feeling prematurely guilty at the prospect that I could implant a woman with an Alien-like parasite who will one day burst free of her. I don't want cake anymore.


(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: redditor hopeisananchor619