Guy asks if he was wrong to use girlfriend's art for tattoo without her permission.
In most cases, your tattoos are no one's business but your own. But what if you ink yourself in a super prominent place, and your partner's not okay with it?
A man recently took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for getting a piece of his girlfriend's artwork tattooed on his neck. He doesn't get why she's so peeved, and she seems mad he didn't ask first.
The girlfriend knows he wants to be super tattooed:
My girlfriend and I have been together for right about a year but have known each other and been good friends for around 5. She has seen my transition from having virgin, untouched skin to my current state of what some people would start to think as heavily tattooed.
I’ve always said I wanted be head to toe for the most part aside from heavy face (maybe 1 or 2) but she has contested the face at all and pretty hard stance on the neck.
He decided to get one of her drawings tattooed on his neck:
So yesterday was my day off and a friend hit me up asking if I wanted to hang out, possibly get a tattoo. Of course I was down, haven’t gotten a new piece is about a year because of covid.
There is this drawing my girlfriend did when we first started officially dating and I always joked that I was going to get that tatted. When we l would talk about it I would float the idea of either getting it on my neck behind my ear or on my arm.
He figured she'd like it:
She of course would protest but also kinda blush like I knew she would like it. So when I went I kind just said f*** it and went through with it. She had no idea that I got it and came back home, acting normally.
She didn’t even notice for 15 min til I pretty much pointed it out ! When she did, she was smiling big and red but then after the initial shock, she went into silent mode. Pretty much didn’t talk to me all night and this morning aside from a few mopes around the apartment.
He thinks she's being dramatic:
Her stance is I disregarded her feelings and did it in spite of her. My stance is I’ve always wanted this, it’s not super noticeable, she very clearly likes it, just not the placement but won’t admit it and is being dramatic about the whole ordeal. So am I really being inconsiderate and the a**hole or is she just being dramatic and this will blow over?
He added some clarifications:
1)She gave me permission to use the artwork
2)She admitted she likes the tattoo just not on my neck
But the people of the internet agree he is handling this in a way that's not cool.
maggienetism says:
I'm going with YTA just because you keep saying she clearly likes something she's telling you she doesn't? That just feels super disrespectful to me...and given she's in silent mode and keeps saying she doesn't like it, it's weird you keep saying she does, and sort of dismissive of her as a person.
They add:
You can do what you want with your body but I can never vote that a dude who keeps insisting his girlfriend feels x way instead of y way she's telling him isn't an a**hole, so you're an a**hole for that part.
Also: you need to ask an artist for permission before using their work like that imo, so yeah. She does have a say in how her own drawings are used...
Mera1506 says he shouldn't be surprised if she breaks up with him:
YTA. For using art she made without her permission. Besides that yes, your body, your choice. However her hard line stance on you not tattooing your face and neck means she may decide to break up with you, since that's her choice. Not everyone can deal looking at someone's face and neck and seeing tattoos... Especially the face.
Animalime says:
You KNEW she wouldn't like a neck tattoo, so you thought the best course of action would be to not even give her a heads up and just randomly get one anyway?
It sounds like you never considered her feelings at all in any of this, and I'm really not buying the whole, 'She would kinda blush like I knew she would like it', especially since she's already made her dislike clear. It's your body, your choice, but not even letting her know what you were doing makes you an AH
WarcraftMD doesn't think this is overreach:
Of course he does. He's in a relationship. It's a mutual agreement that there are certain stuff you do not do without consent from your partner (usually several involving your body), and to at least discuss something before you do it is pretty basic.
GL having any relationship work if you're gonna keep all your personal freedom and do wtf you want at will.
libryx thinks this couple has a communication issue:
it's your body and you're free to get tattoos anywhere you want, but you did get her drawing on a part of your body that she repeatedly told you she wasn't okay with.
it also seems like you're trying to interpret her body language so you get your way instead of actually listening to what she's saying. regardless, y'all need to work on your communication with each other or stuff like this is just going to keep happening.
And no_rxn agrees:
You can get tattoos anywhere you want, including your neck and face, but doing that with an image that is important to her after she's made her opinion clear is really messed up.
YTA and honestly you sound exhausting. Like do you respect her opinion at all? She keeps telling you she doesn't like this, and you keep saying over and over 'I know she secretly likes it'. You need to listen to her.
They continue:
You know how you said she smiled and turned red? People smile in anger all the time! Especially if they're brought up to be polite no matter what. And people also flush when angry too! Ugh, the way you talk about her honestly makes me really upset.
And shewentmad sums it up:
You did something you knew she didn't like and did it because/for her. It seems petty and a bit manipulative, imo. Like... you don't like neck tattoos? Well, now you have to cause it's your drawing! What could have been a wonderful gesture (getting her art tattooed) turned sour because she specifically asked you to not tattoo your neck.
Forteanforever points out the elephant in the room:
You did not have your girlfriend's permission to put her artwork on your neck. I'll bet your next girlfriend is going to be thrilled to learn that you're wearing your ex-girlfriend's art on your neck. Or maybe you'll get lucky and your for-the-moment girlfriend will sue you for using her art in that way and you'll have to get it burned off. Ouch. Didn't put much thought into this move, did you?
So there you have it: this guy is in the wrong.
Have fun explaining the ink to your next girlfriend...