Republican politician Alan Simpson's curmudgeonly diatribe against today's youth comes off like "Old-Guy Gripes: The Greatest Hits," featuring such classic complaints as: their disregard for thank-you notes, the height of their pants, the angle of their hats and, finally, their puzzling fixation on rap musicians like "Enema Man" and "Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg." We think Simpson's bowel-obsessed Freudian slips expose the real issue here: he's jealous of Generation Y's fully functional, non-octogenarian digestive systems. (Via The Daily What, Politico)

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