Marge McCool hasn't given a flying f*ck what people think since before he was born.

I choose to think of this story as "old lady scores some primo ass." Meet 31-year-old Kyle Jones and his girlfriend, Marjorie "Marge" McCool, 91. Marge McCool, by the way, is an awesome name for a nonagenarian who is pulling this kind of action.

Here they are pictured with his mom, Cecilia, a spring chicken of 51, doing an interview with Barcroft TV (video at bottom). Marge and Kyle have been together for 5 years now, since he picked her up in a bookshop when she was at the scandalously nubile age of 86.

In the above photo, they are (I shit you not) looking at old polaroids of Marge shaving herself in the shower.

Kyle likes older ladies. 50 is a minimum, although (maybe since it would be weird to date someone his mom's age?) he likes them over 60 if possible. He's not old-fashioned, though; he dates multiple grannies at any given time. He's got a pretty good reason, too. "Perhaps I would like to meet the right person and settle down," Jones explained, "but I know they would die before me." We've all been there, bro. On the other hand, the knowledge that their boyfriend probably isn't going to keel over at any second is probably a plus for these ladies.

Kyle locking lips with one of his jailbait side girls—68-year-old Anna Ronald.

And good for them. All of them! I don't care what they do, as long as they don't hurt anyone and I'm allowed to get web traffic by exploiting their love.

A lot of people don't believe Kyle could be sincere. "The most common criticism I hear is 'you're after money,' or 'you're after inheritance,'" said Jones, "But it's not true at all. I do this because I like it and they like it, too. I've dated women from various ends of the financial spectrum, but it's never about what they have."

Your tongue doesn't look a day over 40, Marge.

Unless you're talking about what they have going on under their comfortable-fitting blouses, that is. "Often," explained Kyle, "the things women are so self conscious about is what I'm into....I like the neck lines and the wrinkles...I think the natural hang looks great."

And hey, that's a pretty awesome confidence-booster for an older woman. "The physical side of our relationship is wonderful," Marge said in an interview, "I amaze myself, he amazes me...I wear sexy outfits to bed. I try to keep my bra on, though, because I don't have much left." Kind of like how I don't have much left to say after that.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: Daily Mail | BuzzFeed | BarcroftTV