The other day, I looked over at my eleven-year-old daughter sitting on the couch and had the unsettling realization that one day she'll get married.

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Even worse, it could be to a total douchebag. And while I can't prevent her from dating a string of undeserving boys in the coming years, I hope to give her a few tips to help her figure out which ones not to marry when she's ready.

1. Any Guy Who Doesn't Own At Least One Suit

The recommendation here is not to go out and marry some businessman or corporate killer with a closet full of Hugo Boss. Instead, just avoid any grown ass man who makes a point of not owning a single suit of any quality, because not owning a single suit takes effort. It's something you eventually can't avoid owning unless you're trying to. For some damn reason.

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