A tweet by St. Louis-based photographer Michael B. Thomas has gone viral in the past week for giving the whole world a new relationship goal. As Thomas shared, his wife likes to leave notes for him taped to their bathroom mirror. But because his wife is also his best friend, those notes are less tender and more ball-busty than you might expect.

The notes read:

You look dusty

Your hairline is uneven

You ain't even that cute!

Now that's a great marriage. Even if Thomas's hairline is uneven, that smile on his face is solid gold. The internet certainly thinks so—his picture has been retweeted more than 17,000 times in only four days. As for what his wife thinks of her newfound viral fame, you can probably guess.

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This woman needs to be on TV.