I'm still as single as an individually wrapped slice of rubbery cheese-product, and I'm still trying to find love on Tinder.

It's summer! Sure, we're all spending most of it indoors, watching whatever Netflix tells us we must watch in order to function in society, but if you wanted to go outside, you totally could.


Summer is a great time to re-download Tinder (after deleting it in a fit of rage) and start swiping right on every profile. Life is short, why not give everyone a chance? We're all on this earth together until the rising oceans de-evolve us into legless fish-people.

After just a couple of minutes of continuous right-swiping, I had a plethora of matches. I asked all of them if they'd like to go out to dinner with my parents. Here's how the conversations went:

Frank transformed from a creep into a philosopher very quickly.

Jovan's wardrobe became an issue for date night.