To be fair, with this handwriting, novelty t-shirts are pretty much her only career choice.
These t-shirts were allegedly created to pre-emptively cockblock a boyfriend who would be going on a cruise unaccompanied by his loving, and apparently obsessively possessive, girlfriend. She may well have thought these Sharpie-couture creations would lead fellow females to respect her property, but only one of two reactions are possible: either they will look at this wholly-owned creature with such pity and disgust that he throws off the t-shirt and seeks refuge in the bosom of another, or they will look at the t-shirts and see "save me with your vagina" written all over them. Either way, she's setting him up to be cruisin' for a bruisin' of his junk.
(by Johnny McNulty)