Wouldn't dating be so much easier if there were no unknowns, just non-negotiable rules? One eighth grade girl had the brilliant idea of simplifying all the possible "what ifs" by drawing up a contract that clearly states what her man (boy) is and isn't allowed to do within the confines of their relationship.

The printed contract, found in a middle school and tweeted by a man named Max Linsky, has some very specific mandates for going steady. While it does not appear to be legally binding, there's no doubt that the author's got a wonderful career as a lawyer ahead of her.

He probably had to get it notarized, too.

The contract reads:

Terms and conditions

You cannot talk hoes.

You have to talk to me all the time.

You have to give me a lot of hugs.

You have to buy me food.

You can't break my heart because if you break my heart, I break your face.

You can't break up with me I break up with you, if we have problems we will resolve them.

You can't hug these hoes.

You can fist bump these hoes that's it.

You can't be looking at these hoes.

I agree with the terms and conditions

Sources: h/t Cosmopolitan