There's only one Earth, people. One big, rock-hard Earth.

Online porn may have been a major drag on traditional triple-x magazines like Hustler, but that doesn't mean they can't get in the headlines like Larry Flynt—and PornHub usually finds ways to get much more positive attention than he did (although they don't have any kickass Supreme Court cases that expanded the rights of satirists everywhere).

Building off of their highly publicized breast cancer research fundraisers every October ("Save The Boobs"), PornHub has been running a campaign since Arbor Day (April 25) in which they vow to plant a tree for every 100 videos viewed in their "Big Dick" category. They have named this campaign "PornHub Gives America Wood," because that's the kind of thing you're allowed to do when you have the porn industry's best PR department.

What about a tree that looks little at first but grows into a bigger one?

Hopefully, this will be followed up by a map of which states planted the most saplings in Mother Earth by ogling the most man-lumber, as they have done with their maps of what kinds of porn each state masturbates to and whether Republicans or Democrats watch more porn on average. Who knows? If this goes well, America could end up with more wood than even it can handle.


(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: PornHub