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Happy Fat Tuesday to someone who was already fat on Monday.

I'm having my own Mardi Gras celebration without the parades, beads, costumes, or people

Your Fat Tuesday is Charlie Sheen's Tuesday

May this be the year we stop seeing New Orleans as a mismanaged natural disaster and return to identifying it with half-naked, ungodly, man-made devastation

If you can't make it to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, please feel free to reveal your breasts right here

I'm supporting the New Orleans economy by maxing out my credit cards in a prolonged blackout

You must be excited for the one day of the year when your behavior makes sense

Be sure to enjoy the trademark beverage of New Orleans named for the deadly storm surges that frequently decimate the city

Sorry no one wanted to see your tits at Mardi Gras

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