May this be the year we stop seeing New Orleans as a mismanaged natural disaster and return to identifying it with half-naked, ungodly, man-made devastation
If you can't make it to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, please feel free to reveal your breasts right here
I'm supporting the New Orleans economy by maxing out my credit cards in a prolonged blackout
You must be excited for the one day of the year when your behavior makes sense
Be sure to enjoy the trademark beverage of New Orleans named for the deadly storm surges that frequently decimate the city
Sorry no one wanted to see your tits at Mardi Gras
I'm thankful for a holiday that doesn't require atonement or starvation
Let Thanksgiving be a reminder to start your holiday season bender
I have no Thanksgiving plans
I'd be happy to help wedge stale bread up the bird's asshole
Independence Day reminds me how fortunate we are to live in a country that eschews violent street protests in favor of snarky blog commentary
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Sorry no one wanted to see your tits at Mardi Gras
Be sure to enjoy the trademark beverage of New Orleans named for the deadly storm surges that frequently decimate the city
You must be excited for the one day of the year when your behavior makes sense
I'm supporting the New Orleans economy by maxing out my credit cards in a prolonged blackout
If you can't make it to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, please feel free to reveal your breasts right here