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May. 25th, 2011

Let's spend Memorial Day weekend damaging our bodies enough to ensure the military never wants us.
- Sends: 9
- Views: 1,506
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 17th, 2009

I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War Union soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is black.
- Sends: 4
- Views: 917
- Favorited: 10
- Comments 0
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May. 21st, 2012

My Memorial Day weekend will be a vacation from listening to your plans for Memorial Day weekend.
- Sends: 3
- Views: 3,264
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 22nd, 2008

This Memorial Day, let's try not to open fire on hostile drivers.
- Sends: 3
- Views: 524
- Favorited: 1
- Comments 0
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May. 22nd, 2008

Let's commemorate our departed WWII veterans by eating German frankfurters and Italian sausages.
- Sends: 3
- Views: 639
- Favorited: 5
- Comments 0
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May. 19th, 2009

I'm concerned that chilly Memorial Day conditions may impede you from wearing a bikini.
- Sends: 3
- Views: 559
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 26th, 2011

Let's spend Memorial Day weekend celebrating the fact that Osama Bin Laden is still dead.
- Sends: 2
- Views: 754
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 17th, 2009

Happy Memorial Day to someone who gets post-traumatic stress from watching Saving Private Ryan in HD.
- Sends: 2
- Views: 700
- Favorited: 1
- Comments 0
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May. 19th, 2009

I could totally see getting into a relationship with you from the Friday before Memorial Day until Memorial Day.
- Sends: 2
- Views: 655
- Favorited: 1
- Comments 0
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May. 23rd, 2012

This Memorial Day, let's remember all the fallen Facebook stock.
- Sends: 1
- Views: 2,462
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 25th, 2011

Happy Memorial Day to someone who still complains about how much it hurts to get shot by a paintball gun.
- Sends: 1
- Views: 624
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 22nd, 2008

Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service.
- Sends: 1
- Views: 454
- Favorited: 3
- Comments 0
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May. 25th, 2011

I will be solemnly honoring our military this weekend because no one invited me anywhere fun.
- Sends: 0
- Views: 650
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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May. 23rd, 2008

I'm paying my respects to all our nation's heroes who vacation near me.
- Sends: 0
- Views: 412
- Favorited: 0
- Comments 0
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