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    MLK Day is a great opportunity to feel ashamed of our white ancestors.

    MLK Day is a great opportunity to feel ashamed of our white ancestors

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    Happy Martin Luther King Day to a borderline racist.

    Happy Martin Luther King Day to a borderline racist

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    I have a dream that all colors and creeds will harmoniously blow off work and school on a random Monday in January.

    I have a dream that all colors and creeds will harmoniously blow off work and school on a random Monday in January

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    This MLK Day, I am volunteering to buy movie tickets.

    This MLK Day, I am volunteering to buy movie tickets

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    You should practice non-violence this MLK Day by not coughing near me.

    You should practice non-violence this MLK Day by not coughing near me.

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    Let's love and serve our community, then get pedicures.

    Let's love and serve our community, then get pedicures

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    Let's over-celebrate MLK Day to compensate for a weekend of watching eight white quarterbacks.

    Let's over-celebrate MLK Day to compensate for a weekend of watching eight white quarterbacks

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    Today would be the perfect day to not wave your Confederate flag.

    Today would be the perfect day to not wave your Confederate flag

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    I wonder if Martin Luther King dreamed the first black president would be a half-white Hawaiian metrosexual.

    I wonder if Martin Luther King dreamed the first black president would be a half-white Hawaiian metrosexual

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    We must not judge people by the color of their skin but by their annoying personalities.

    We must not judge people by the color of their skin but by their annoying personalities

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    A winter holiday honoring a man who helped end segregation is a great time to go skiing with other white people.

    A winter holiday honoring a man who helped end segregation is a great time to go skiing with other white people.

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    I plan to demonstrate nonviolence through napping.

    I plan to demonstrate nonviolence through napping

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    I'm practicing non-violence this weekend by sitting on my couch watching our nation's most violent sport.

    I'm practicing non-violence this weekend by sitting on my couch watching our nation's most violent sport.

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    Don't forget to honor MLK by copying and pasting a quote that he actually said.

    Don't forget to honor MLK by copying and pasting a quote that he actually said.

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    Everything I know about Martin Luther King is based on one verse of a U2 song.

    Everything I know about Martin Luther King is based on one verse of a U2 song

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    Today we celebrate people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds, even whites.

    Today we celebrate people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds, even whites

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    I find it difficult to reflect on the achievements of Martin Luther King without the aid of a preachy, overwrought Hollywood biopic.

    I find it difficult to reflect on the achievements of Martin Luther King without the aid of a preachy, overwrought Hollywood biopic

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    Let's celebrate MLK weekend by watching Oprah elicit apologies from a wealthy, entitled white guy.

    Let's celebrate MLK weekend by watching Oprah elicit apologies from a wealthy, entitled white guy.

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    Let's commemorate one of the hardest working freedom fighters in history by not working.

    Let's commemorate one of the hardest working freedom fighters in history by not working.

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    I commemorate every MLK Day by watching only interracial pornography.

    I commemorate every MLK Day by watching only interracial pornography

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