May. 15th, 2012
Please suggest a movie for us to see so that I can find out if you have terrible taste.
May. 4th, 2012
Sorry your nerdy love of superhero movies doesn't translate into better grades on your finals.
May. 4th, 2012
My superpower is stopping drunk friends from uploading embarrassing photos to Facebook.
Apr. 4th, 2012
Let's watch Titanic 3D to remember the awful tragedy of the first time we heard that Celine Dion song.
Apr. 4th, 2012
The Republican primaries have fully prepared me for seeing Titanic 3D.
Mar. 21st, 2012
I'd rather elect President Snow than President Santorum.
Mar. 21st, 2012
May you not be slaughtered by teenagers while fighting for a good seat at The Hunger Games.
Mar. 20th, 2012
You'd totally win the Hunger Games if passive-aggressive behavior could kill.
Mar. 20th, 2012
Let's kick off spring by sitting in a dark theater watching teenagers murder each other.
Mar. 2nd, 2012
I'd love to not share my popcorn and candy with you during The Hunger Games.
Feb. 29th, 2012
The closest I'll get to winning the Hunger Games is when I spot the last donut in the office kitchen.
Feb. 28th, 2012
I wish the cast of Twilight had to fight in the Hunger Games.
Feb. 27th, 2012
Sorry there's no Oscar for insulting famous people on Twitter during the Oscars.
Feb. 27th, 2012
Let's honor The Artist winning Best Picture by having no dialogue in the office today.
Feb. 24th, 2012
I can't wait to hear what you think of what other women think of what other women are wearing.
Feb. 24th, 2012
I hope it's not too soon to root against a movie about 9/11.
Feb. 24th, 2012
George Clooney should win Best Actor for so convincingly playing someone as unsuccessful with women as you are.
Feb. 24th, 2012
I wish Oscar acceptance speeches had to be 140 characters or less.
Feb. 24th, 2012
I can't wait to put this year's Best Picture winner into the 27th slot of my Netflix queue.
Feb. 23rd, 2012
You deserve an Oscar for your portrayal of someone pretending to have liked The Artist.