• May. 15th, 2012

    Please suggest a movie for us to see so that I can find out if you have terrible taste.

    Please suggest a movie for us to see so that I can find out if you have terrible taste.

  • May. 4th, 2012

    Sorry your nerdy love of superhero movies doesn't translate into better grades on your finals.

    Sorry your nerdy love of superhero movies doesn't translate into better grades on your finals.

  • May. 4th, 2012

    My superpower is stopping drunk friends from uploading embarrassing photos to Facebook.

    My superpower is stopping drunk friends from uploading embarrassing photos to Facebook.

  • Apr. 4th, 2012

    Let's watch Titanic 3D to remember the awful tragedy of the first time we heard that Celine Dion song.

    Let's watch Titanic 3D to remember the awful tragedy of the first time we heard that Celine Dion song.

  • Apr. 4th, 2012

    The Republican primaries have fully prepared me for seeing Titanic 3D.

    The Republican primaries have fully prepared me for seeing Titanic 3D.

  • Mar. 21st, 2012

    I'd rather elect President Snow than President Santorum.

    I'd rather elect President Snow than President Santorum.

  • Mar. 21st, 2012

    May you not be slaughtered by teenagers while fighting for a good seat at The Hunger Games.

    May you not be slaughtered by teenagers while fighting for a good seat at The Hunger Games.

  • Mar. 20th, 2012

    You'd totally win the Hunger Games if passive-aggressive behavior could kill.

    You'd totally win the Hunger Games if passive-aggressive behavior could kill.

  • Mar. 20th, 2012

    Let's kick off spring by sitting in a dark theater watching teenagers murder each other.

    Let's kick off spring by sitting in a dark theater watching teenagers murder each other.

  • Mar. 2nd, 2012

    I'd love to not share my popcorn and candy with you during The Hunger Games.

    I'd love to not share my popcorn and candy with you during The Hunger Games.

  • Feb. 29th, 2012

    The closest I'll get to winning the Hunger Games is when I spot the last donut in the office kitchen.

    The closest I'll get to winning the Hunger Games is when I spot the last donut in the office kitchen.

  • Feb. 28th, 2012

    I wish the cast of Twilight had to fight in the Hunger Games.

    I wish the cast of Twilight had to fight in the Hunger Games.

  • Feb. 27th, 2012

    Sorry there's no Oscar for insulting famous people on Twitter during the Oscars.

    Sorry there's no Oscar for insulting famous people on Twitter during the Oscars.

  • Feb. 27th, 2012

    Let's honor The Artist winning Best Picture by having no dialogue in the office today.

    Let's honor The Artist winning Best Picture by having no dialogue in the office today.

  • Feb. 24th, 2012

    I can't wait to hear what you think of what other women think of what other women are wearing.

    I can't wait to hear what you think of what other women think of what other women are wearing.

  • Feb. 24th, 2012

    I hope it's not too soon to root against a movie about 9/11.

    I hope it's not too soon to root against a movie about 9/11.

  • Feb. 24th, 2012

    George Clooney should win Best Actor for so convincingly playing someone as unsuccessful with women as you are.

    George Clooney should win Best Actor for so convincingly playing someone as unsuccessful with women as you are.

  • Feb. 24th, 2012

    I wish Oscar acceptance speeches had to be 140 characters or less.

    I wish Oscar acceptance speeches had to be 140 characters or less.

  • Feb. 24th, 2012

    I can't wait to put this year's Best Picture winner into the 27th slot of my Netflix queue.

    I can't wait to put this year's Best Picture winner into the 27th slot of my Netflix queue.

  • Feb. 23rd, 2012

    You deserve an Oscar for your portrayal of someone pretending to have liked The Artist.

    You deserve an Oscar for your portrayal of someone pretending to have liked The Artist.

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