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  • Aug. 4th, 2010

    I'd rather steal Lady Gaga's creativity without having to go near her vagina.

    I'd rather steal Lady Gaga's creativity without having to go near her vagina.

  • Aug. 2nd, 2010

    It's only a matter of time before Kanye West drunk tweets an insult to @taylorswift13.

    It's only a matter of time before Kanye West drunk tweets an insult to @taylorswift13.

  • Oct. 20th, 2009

    I don't understand it when Bruce Springsteen sings about needing to get out of a town where he's made approximately $300 million.

    I don't understand it when Bruce Springsteen sings about needing to get out of a town where he's made approximately $300 million.

  • Nov. 21st, 2008

    I still believe in the dangerous, anarchic spirit of Guns N' Roses despite their exclusive distribution deal with the country's dominant electronics retailer.

    I still believe in the dangerous, anarchic spirit of Guns N' Roses despite their exclusive distribution deal with the country's dominant electronics retailer.

  • Nov. 21st, 2008

    Axl Rose has much to teach our generation about successfully putting off a deadline.

    Axl Rose has much to teach our generation about successfully putting off a deadline.

  • Nov. 21st, 2008

    After the tortuous 15-year wait for Chinese Democracy, we'll finally be able to trash or ignore it.

    After the tortuous 15-year wait for Chinese Democracy, we'll finally be able to trash or ignore it.

  • Nov. 21st, 2008

    In terms of reclusive, scummy, middle-aged, bipolar rock stars I want to sleep with, Axl Rose is at the top of the list.

    In terms of reclusive, scummy, middle-aged, bipolar rock stars I want to sleep with, Axl Rose is at the top of the list.

  • Oct. 21st, 2008

    I'm finally old enough to say I despise today's music.

    I'm finally old enough to say I despise today's music.

  • Oct. 19th, 2008

    The latest Guns N' Roses book has given me a new respect for their music and ability to somehow not be dead in an alley.

    The latest Guns N' Roses book has given me a new respect for their music and ability to somehow not be dead in an alley.

  • Oct. 17th, 2008

    If I was a rock star and you lived in a war-torn, famine-stricken third world country, I'd donate a tiny fraction of my gargantuan wealth for you to split among your countrymen.

    If I was a rock star and you lived in a war-torn, famine-stricken third world country, I'd donate a tiny fraction of my gargantuan wealth for you to split among your countrymen.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    The latest antidepressants are still no match for the latest Radiohead album.

    The latest antidepressants are still no match for the latest Radiohead album.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    Sorry you felt old after hearing Nirvana on a classic rock station.

    Sorry you felt old after hearing Nirvana on a classic rock station.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    Let's enjoy Beck's musical genius without ever wondering if his albums are some sort of giant Scientology experiment.

    Let's enjoy Beck's musical genius without ever wondering if his albums are some sort of giant Scientology experiment.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    If you're ever shot dead in an East Coast-West Coast rap war, I hope it's after you've recorded over 10 years worth of unreleased music.

    If you're ever shot dead in an East Coast-West Coast rap war, I hope it's after you've recorded over 10 years worth of unreleased music.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    Sorry I ruined the impromptu sing-along by not knowing 80% of the words to the fast part of 'It's the End of the World as We Know It.'

    Sorry I ruined the impromptu sing-along by not knowing 80% of the words to the fast part of "It's the End of the World as We Know It."

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    I dream of one day having as many STDs as Tommy Lee.

    I dream of one day having as many STDs as Tommy Lee.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    Thanks for always telling me which emerging buzz bands to have in my iPod.

    Thanks for always telling me which emerging buzz bands to have in my iPod.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    You're officially too old for rock concerts.

    You're officially too old for rock concerts.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder.

    I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder.

  • Oct. 5th, 2008

    My new favorite bands are pretty much my old favorite bands.

    My new favorite bands are pretty much my old favorite bands.

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