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    The latest antidepressants are still no match for the latest Radiohead album

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    If I was a rock star and you lived in a war-torn, famine-stricken third world country, I'd donate a tiny fraction of my gargantuan wealth for you to split among your countrymen

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    The latest Guns N' Roses book has given me a new respect for their music and ability to somehow not be dead in an alley

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    I'm finally old enough to say I despise today's music

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    In terms of reclusive, scummy, middle-aged, bipolar rock stars I want to sleep with, Axl Rose is at the top of the list

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    After the tortuous 15-year wait for Chinese Democracy, we'll finally be able to trash or ignore it

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    Axl Rose has much to teach our generation about successfully putting off a deadline

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    I still believe in the dangerous, anarchic spirit of Guns N' Roses despite their exclusive distribution deal with the country's dominant electronics retailer

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    It's only a matter of time before Kanye West drunk tweets an insult to @taylorswift13

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    I'd rather steal Lady Gaga's creativity without having to go near her vagina

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    Sorry I made fun of your ridiculous music collection

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    My new favorite bands are pretty much my old favorite bands

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    I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder

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    You're officially too old for rock concerts

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    Thanks for always telling me which emerging buzz bands to have in my iPod

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    I dream of one day having as many STDs as Tommy Lee

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    Sorry I ruined the impromptu sing-along by not knowing 80% of the words to the fast part of "It's the End of the World as We Know It."

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    If you're ever shot dead in an East Coast-West Coast rap war, I hope it's after you've recorded over 10 years worth of unreleased music

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    Let's enjoy Beck's musical genius without ever wondering if his albums are some sort of giant Scientology experiment

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    Sorry you felt old after hearing Nirvana on a classic rock station

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