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I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos.

My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's

For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.

My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions

I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions

Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending

Let's never speak of 2011 again

Not seeing New Year's Eve will be the easiest New Year's resolution I've ever made

Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve

My New Year's resolution is to lose just enough weight so that my gut doesn't jiggle when I brush my teeth.

It would really help me in the office pool if you failed at your New Year's resolution somewhere between January 7th and 9th.

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.

My New Year's resolution is to do you more and do me less.

Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.

This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions

It's time to renew that gym membership we're never going to use again.

Here's to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn't have.

Here's to the end of another shitty year we'll one day be strangely nostalgic for.

Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior

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