1. Using farts to get attention.
It's sad enough that I require the amount of attention I generally seek. It's even more pathetic the frequency with which I use farting to attract it. Unfortunately my fiancé bears the brunt of this vice. She's a trooper and doesn't get too upset unless I cross a certain threshold of smell. Then I get hit. A lot. During this justified thrashing, I'm usually laughing like a mad man in celebration of the fact that I used my butt to make someone I care about unhappy. I also try to get attention by recounting tales of farts past if they are particularly noteworthy. As a matter of fact, I'm doing it right now.
2. Using the same alarm clock from my childhood bedroom.
This gem of early 90s technology still works and has somehow survived multiple moves. It's a brand I've never heard of and all the buttons are kinda sticky. I bet they make alarm clocks that do cool new stuff these days, don't they? Hotel alarm clocks always seem pretty fancy. Using the fancy alarm clock is one of the things I always look forward to on vacation. How much is a new alarm clock—seven, eight bucks? I really have no idea. I haven't attempted to buy one in over twenty years.