But a few of the ordeals to which we shall be subjected during tomorrow's Ragnarök.
In case you haven't heard, the Viking apocalypse commonly known as Ragnarök—as predicted millennia ago in the in the Old Norse poem collection Poetic Edda—is expected to befall the world on February 22, 2014 — tomorrow! Since most of us didn't grow up particularly well-versed in Norse mythology, here's a quick rundown of what we can all likely expect:
1. A mighty winter shall descend upon the Earth.
Fimbulwinter—an unceasing and unimaginable cold—will envelope all the societies of man putting a halt to the whole of their lives and works. This might not be immediately apparent in the midwest and east coast regions of the U.S. Elsewhere, it may cause some traffic abnormalities and massive incidents of hypothermia. Bring a scarf to work.
2. The gods of Norse legend shall enter into epic battle with Loki the Trickster and his army of frost giants.
In the Poetic Edda epic poem Völuspá, a massive battle will erupt. Such powerful and benevolent deities as Odin, Thor, Balder, Vali and Vidar will find themselves pitted against untold numbers of frost giants, led by Loki, the evil god of fire and a few of his other unsavory friends. The destruction will be unimaginable. The carnage, unbelievable. As such, lots of power lines will likely be knocked out, as well as cellular towers. This will have adverse effects on Internet connectivity. So, send out important emails today and stock up on porn.