Babies are alright. But they're really no match for a really good batch of fresh margaritas (with real sour mix—none of that store-bought bottled shit). Yes, a baby has the potential to eventually grow into the kind of caring and decent human being that will make you feel some small sense of validation for decades of hard work and struggle. But a quart of margaritas will make stop caring about all that shit and enjoy your life now. So, you know, it's really no contest.
And that's why Simon Philion's Cool Baby invention is so genius. According to its Kickstarter page, it's "an expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby." What it really is, though, is a way to manage your booze habit in places that unfairly allow you to bring babies but not margaritas. Here, take a look at how it works:
Don't be fooled by the "cola" bottle he's using to fill up the baby. That's just code for margaritas.
Oh, the video doesn't even touch upon the truly genius aspect of this invention: when you inevitably vomit up the contents of your stomach onto the department store's floor, you can just blame it on the baby. Everyone will think it's adorable!