"They were quiet, they kept to themselves. They didn't like my big pink novelty dicks."

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Thank you, random Bostonian being interviewed by the BBC about the bombing suspects, thank you for bringing a small amount of joy into this horrible day. Without you, today would have been entirely free of awkwardly placed dildos, or possibly giant pink joke water bottles, and we would have no one to laugh at. But you, you noble bastard, you have given us someone to mock, someone to laugh at, and something to help us momentarily forget the horrors of this week. Thank you, you awkward little weirdo. Thank you.

Sources: Redditor DVXT