Did I say you could smile, bitch? (file photo)
Here are just a few excerpts from these amazing gems. See more at Gawker.
I wish some bride was forcing me to eat junk food so I'd be fatter than her. (screengrab via Gawker)
I'm guessing chosen-bees are the Jewish ones. (screengrab via Gawker)
Why bother with the rice cakes? Empty calories, girl. (screengrab via Gawker)
If any of my friends are reading this, I love you guys.
See more emails at Gawker.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)