1. Expect To See Leonardo DiCaprio In A Joey Ramone Wig — Martin Scorsese To Direct Film About Iconic Punk Band

Word around both the movie and music worlds is that legendary New York filmmaker Martin Scorsese, who rose to prominence in the '70s with energetic, violence and drug-tinged portrayals of life in films like Taxi Driver and Mean Streetsmight be planning to make a film about the legendary New York punk band The Ramones, who rose to prominence in the '70s with energetic, violence and drug-tinged portrayals of life in songs like "Beat on the Brat" and "I Wanna Be Sedated." Seems like an odd pairing, doesn't it?

2. New Kirk Cameron Film 'Saving Christmas' From All The Make-Believe People Who Are Pretend Destroying It

Conservative Christian Kirk Cameron's new film, Saving Christmas—which claims to be a comedy, but can probably be more accurately described as a cinematic religious tract—promises to destroy many of the supposed myths surrounding Christmas, such as the one about Christmas trees originally being a pagan symbol (never mind that it almost certainly was). "I assume [atheists are] going to get frustrated to see some of their best arguments deflated by this movie, because we take on some of the most commonly parroted myths about the origins of Christmas," Cameron explained in an interview with The Blaze.

3. Study: Junk Food Makes You Want To Eat Junk Food Which Makes You Want To Eat Junk Food

According to a new study published in Frontiers in Psychologya junk food-heavy diet leaves people more dependent upon junk food as source of food satisfaction and less likely to add healthier foods to their diet, creating a dangerous cycle that eventually turns them into everybody else in America.

4. Toronto Just Might Give Rob Ford A Fourteenth Chance

According to a new poll, crack-addicted mayor of Toronto Rob Ford is currently in second place, just three points behind John Tory with 31 percent, in the Canadian city's mayoral race. This comes as great news to all Americans who are getting pretty sick of our northern neighbors lording George W. Bush over us for all this time.

5. We All have Trillions Of Pet Bacteria Who Refuse To Leave Our Side

You are currently covered in trillions of individual bacteria organisms, and there's literally nothing you can do about it, according to a new study. You can scrub yourself raw and run far away from your disgusting, filthy house, but it will all build up again in less than a day. "The speed at which that colonization happens was quite remarkable," the germ-ridden head researcher told the AP.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)