"Can anyone else dial that number? My phone is lodged in my colon."
If cavemen, talking ducks, Flo, and the black guy from Major League have taught us anything over the course of their seven-hundred-thousand commercials, it's that car accidents are not much fun. They're even worse when fate, god, karma, or L. Ron Hubbard's ghost conspire to slap an amusing little exclamation point on your moment of deepest vehicular misfortune. Here are 12 people whose insurance companies probably don't cover the cost of "Extreme Internet Humiliation."
I think you need a new concept.
Those poor people in steerage don't have a chance.