We're pretty sure all the devices he uses for social media are shattered at this point.
After cuckolded Scotsman Martin Melrose discovered the secret Facebook account his girlfriend was using to arrange secret intercourse with another man, Melrose decided to confront her — and everyone she knows — by accessing her real Facebook account and posting the above tell-all on her profile. All we can think about here is how many passwords this woman had to keep track of. No amount of side-ass is worth all the times she probably had to answer her security questions. And clearly she wasn't very good at it if she had the wherewithall to set up a secret account but couldn't be bothered to keep her real account's password from her boyfriend. This is why when we try to cheat via social media, we only do it through hidden messages tweeted from Twitter parody accounts. Our wife, and anyone with a brain, would never bother to read @ThatRussianMeteor, so we can use it to arrange all the infidelities we desire.