You should really see a doctor about your carbonated semen.
We have to imagine that bottled water, even the fancy kind with bubbles, is a tough product to sell. There are only so many different ways to say "quenchability" and "thirstastic" and "drinkarrific." Actually, we could do that all day. "Refreshmentize." "Sipcellent." "Maximum swallow power." But as the old saying goes, sex sells bottled water. And the French did a great job making this commercial, which advertised a new, larger Perrier bottle, as subtle as an homage to the hand job can be. We shudder to think what the American version would have looked like: probably two women in bikinis drizzling club soda all over themselves.