Every art form has those crowning works that bring their genres closer to perfection.
You got your Mona Lisas, you got your Davids, your Citizen Kanes, your War and Peaces, etc, etc. Well, three days ago, someone in Seattle created just such a work in the field of Craigslist dog-walker ads. This is the apotheosis of the somewhat-sad-but-hilariously-epic request for a job that's beneath the poster's skills. This is the apex of the typo-filled-but-grandiose balancing act between bombastic fantasy literature and open begging that makes Craigslist great. This... this is the dog-walker you want to hire (if you're from Seattle).