"Don't send, don't send, sent it - shit!" (via)
A broken-hearted idiot with a plan was arrested near Seattle today after allegedly calling in a bomb threat to prevent his ex-girlfriend's plane from taking off. The Las Vegas-bound flight was evacuated and the passengers were sent back to be re-screened by security. Police said they were able to identify the 26-year-old suspect, Zachary Milliren after speaking with passengers until one of them must have told them it sounded like the work of a thoughtless, reckless asshole they had just dumped.
Breakups are tough. Maybe he's not a terrible guy, he's just seen too many rom-coms and imagined a scene where he calls in a bomb scare, races to the airport and catches up to his ex just as she's re-boarding the flight along with all the other pissed-off passengers. She sees him coming towards her, and after a brief moment of disbelief, realizes that any man who would go to such incredible lengths to prevent her from leaving him (or the general area) must be the guy for her. They kiss. Everyone around them is so moved by the scene that the cop in charge wipes a tear from his eye and says, "get on that plane, you knuckleheads." Then they fly to Vegas and head straight for the chapel, where they're married by a priest dressed as Elvis.
Then, later that night, the guy is arrested for punching a blackjack dealer for giving him "shit cards," and he spends his honeymoon in a Vegas jail cell. Because, one way or another, guys like that usually wind up in jail.