The suspect is apparently every guy I saw at the Neutral Milk Hotel show last week.

Okay, look. The idea of a man breaking into your home and stealing your iPhone while you're upstairs putting your kids to bed is pretty scary all by itself. But the idea of a man breaking into your home and stealing nothing, but using your iPhone to take a quick self-portrait before quietly slipping away is a whole different level of terrifying. I mean, you can understand why a person would steal a phone. That is terrible, but it makes sense. But risking jail time to take a quick incriminating photograph and then just leaving is so weird and unreasonable that there's no way your brain can process it.

The owner of the phone didn't find the picture until the next day and is reportedly "traumatized" by the discovery. And with good reason. I cannot imagine what this guy could have done that would have been creepier. Empty the dishwasher? Leave a note reminding her that she has to pick up more orange juice? Set up her DVR so that it records the news show on which the above segment would be aired? That last one's actually not bad, but it would create an uncomfortable paradox. No, I think what he did was the creepiest. It's really next-level disturbing.


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Sources: CBS Denver | h/t Gawker